The third response is totally in appropriate since it is a physical attack. The burden of controlling the conversation should stay with Johnny who initiates it since Ken is not prepared, and may not know how to react or bring up topics that he thinks relate…
"Hey Johnny, your test scores are bad because you play video games all day! I don't mind that you friend visits but I would really appreciate some kind of compromise. So Ken was wrong in changing the subject out of his frustration since Johnny may have caught him off his guard.
Johnny should not tell Ken what to do when trying to resolve a conflict without out offering a compromise. Instead he should try to be considerate of the Ken's feelings and viewpoint, and work into a solution with him. Johnny has offered something even though it was not the issue, but rather a gesture.
Notice that Ken has taken the lead and made the first step, and Johnny is quick to acknowledge the gesture and offered something even if he did not consider it part of the issue.
Johnny should instead remain calm and provide specific examples as to how it is affecting him. The first answer is the best: It is hard to stay calm when the other person begins to bring up or attacks you with other issues.
He is applying good feedback Remember: the one who initiates the conversation, has responsibility to guide the situation to a good solution. However, staying on subject and remaining calm helps a lot when dealing with conflict resolution.
The first answer is best: Johnny first acknowledges that he has changed his view, and has then given a specific example as to how this is affecting him.
He is trying to help Ken understand his point of view. It is also important to have the goal of a compromise in mind.
If Johnny is vague, or doesn't provide good examples or reasons, it is harder for Ken to understand him.
Both may then become defensive, and stop listening to each other.